Scars
by ILikeMySitar9
Summary: Roxas loves Axel, with all of his heart! But the thing Roxas doesn't understand, is why Axel loves him back? Roxas, is just Roxas. Nothing special, and defiantly not beautiful. Yet Axel makes it his duty to make Roxas know how much he loves him day to day. But Roxas just wants to know why Axel loves Roxas, scars and all.


**SO, his is what I came out with while I was waiting to upload Angel Wings! Kinda sad, butt hen again I've been down lately, so this popped out while I was barfin' ma guts out last Monday and Tuesday! I hope you like it, 'cuz honestly it's one of my favorite stories so far.**

I stand in front of my full length mirror, my shirt sitting at my bare feet. I stare back at myself, staring back into blue eyes. I've never understood Axel, even after all this time of knowing him. Somehow he thinks that I'm the most perfect thing that has ever walked this earth.

I still don't know what he sees in me. I mean, what's so special about me? He compliments my eyes a lot, saying that they're a unique kind of blue, and sparkle like stars. I reach up and I pull down the skin under my eye, examining the color closely.

"No sparkle, and just plain sky blue."

I stand back up with a frown, looking for any other flaws. Whenever Axel greets me, he kisses me like it's our first every single time. I brush my fingers over my lips, feeling how dry and cracked they are. I pucker them as if going in for a kiss, glancing down at them. Is this how I look whenever we kiss? Jeez... I wet my lips and I sigh.

Axel says he loves hearing me talk, even if I'm just mumbling about nothing. Something about being soothing to him. I open my mouth and I start singing softly.

"I don't want another pretty face, or just anyone to hold. I just want you and your beautiful soul..."

I hold out the soft notes, singing my heart out quietly as I listen quietly to myself. After I finish I scrunch my nose in distaste. Do I really sound like that? Man, must have been torture to have to listen to me talk all the time...

Hm, what else? Well, Axel always tells me to moan louder during makeouts or sex time. I moan loudly, arching against an invisible Axel as if he were here. Crap, do I really look that dumb? Speaking of making out, Axel seems to enjoy grabbing my ass a lot.

He's always complimenting it, trying to make a grab for it or tries to pinch it whenever he passes by. His way of giving his affection through a small action. I reach back and I grab my ass, squeezing it a few times with confusion. Is this what it feels like? It's like grabbing a barley stuffed pillow! I let go, rolling my eyes. I don't know why he enjoys my ass so much...

Oh, one time when he went on a long trip with his brother, he called and asked if we could try doing phone sex. I was opposed to it, but then the fact of missing him really got to me so I caved. During it he made me play with my nipples a lot, and when he's here he pays a lot of attention to my nipples when he's teasing me... I reach up and I pinch the pink nub, a little too hard I'm guessing.

"Ow, damn it!"

I rub it soothingly, trying to make the pain disappear. How does he make it feel so damn good? When he does it, it has me begging in a second. I glance up at my dulling hair. Axel always loves to run his hands through my spikes, sometimes messing with it, or just doing it because it relaxes him.

I reach up and I tug on a spike. The color is so dull, and my spikes are getting longer. My bangs are able to hide my most of my eyes now, which I think bugs Axel. He's always sweeping them aside and out of the way. I should get a haircut soon... I drop my hand before looking over myself again. Axel says my legs are smooth and creamy, whatever the hell _that's_ supposed to mean...

I slip my hand down past the waistline of my polka dotted pajama pants and I slide my finger over my skin. Gross, my thigh is so fat and chunky! Guess I won't be having that sea salt ice cream sitting in the freezer... I take my hand out and I return it to my side. I look over myself again in disgust.

I'm lucky enough to get someone like Axel, and this is what he gets in return. I'm _hideous, _compared to everyone around me. Why have _me_, when he has the _world_ to chose from? I have plain eyes, bone dry lips, a squeaky, horribly tuned voice, my moans sound like a dying whale, a flat, boring ass, a sensitive chest, ugly, too long hair, and fat, chunky thighs.

_This_ is what he calls perfect? I'm far from perfection, no where near that word. I glance down at my feet where the razor sits, my mind slowly reeling. I promised Axel that I would stay strong, and never resort to doing it again. But, after today, I realized he's _lied_ to me, countless times. I'm _not_ perfect, and I'm _not_ worthy to be his.

I am a hideous, ugly _beast!_

I slowly reach down for the razor sitting at my feet, feeling empty tears roll down my cheeks. But a flash of red and green in the catches my eye. I feel my stomach twist in guilt as my hands start to shake, stopping on their path to the sharp shaving tool.

Our eyes lock in the mirror, mine holding a mixture of guilt and the craving for feeling my skin ache, while you just give me a blank stare as you rest against the doorframe. I stand back up, my whole body shaking as if a sudden winter breeze has passed through my whole body.

"I'm sorry... I-I couldn't, I mean, I-I tried to,"

Axel stands up to his full height, uncrossing his arms as he slowly walks over to me, a strange emotion flaring in his dark green eyes. He doesn't say a word as he stands in front of me, reaching down and grabbing the razor. He examines it for a long minute, feeling like an hour. What's going through his mind? He snaps the razor in half, making me jump and bringing more tears to my eyes. He tosses it in the trash in the corner before looking back down at me.

"Roxas..."

At the sound of my name being whispered through his lips, I throw myself in his ready arms. Tears rack my whole body as I sob on his chest, clutching his shirt in my fists as if to tell myself 'Axel's here now. He can heal you.' Axel has always been my rock, ever since I met him he's helped me with everything I've gone through.

He's stayed by my side during the doctor visits, has helped calm my depression down to something that I can control on my good days, and has been the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. As he soothingly rubs my back, whispering words of love in my ear, I repeatedly mentally smack myself. How stupid could I be? I almost cut myself again, even when I promised the best thing that's ever happened to me that I wouldn't ever again.

"A-Axel, I'm so s-sorry..."

He hums as his fingers make soft circles in my back, comforting me. He pulls away and stands behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and setting his head on my shoulder, facing me towards the mirror. He locks his fingers over my abdomen while pressing a short kiss to my cheek.

"You're my perfect little angel, Roxas."

I sniffle, more tears collecting as I shake my head. "S-Stop it Axel, please. I'm not perfect and you know it..." Axel shakes his head before laughing softly.

"I wish you could see what I do, Roxas. I realize that nobody in this world is perfect. Hell, _I'm_ as far from perfect as I can get. I had a drinking and smoking problem, I barely passed high school and by some miracle got into college, and for the longest time I had jumped into bed with anything that breathes. I myself even dealt with the blade." My eyes widen as I look into Axel's eyes through the mirror.

"You did?" He nods, nuzzling into my neck.

"Yea, I did. The drinking and smoking didn't help, in fact it added to it, naturally. But here's the thing, angel. As soon as our hands touched when we reached for the same manga at the bookstore, I finally had something to fight for. So, with help from Reno and my friends, I turned it all around, just for you. I was afraid if I kept on my path, then you would be turned away from me. And we couldn't have that, could we?"

I slowly take in Axel's story, my hands overlapping his. "You turned your _whole life_ around, just for me?" He nods silently, pressing a kiss to my ear.

"I wanted to be with you, angel. When you came to me about your depression problems, it's the reason why I've done everything in my power to make you stay away the blade. That, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if the one I loved got hurt."

...This, is exactly why I don't deserve to be with Axel. He thinks I'm the best damned thing that's ever lived, but I've had problems with trying to prove to myself that I'm worth Axel's love.

"I don't deserve to be here with you Axel. I can't see what you see." He sighs, rolling his eyes with a smile tugging at his lips. "So stubborn..." He lifts his hand and brushes his fingers right under my eye.

"You're eyes are so wonderful, and when they sparkle they can outshine a star. The blues are all mixed into one amazing color, and god decided to bless you with the unique color." He feels my lips with a love struck grin.

"I love kissing you because your lips are soft are as a feather, and you always taste like the sweetest honey around." He trails his finger down my neck with a hum.

"You're a talented singer, and your voice soothes my nerves. I swear it's like magic." He stares into my eyes for a moment before hugging me closer.

"The reason why I try to make you moan louder during sex, is because I want to make sure you're enjoying it, and not in pain. My first time was not the best, and I don't want you to have to go through the same scarring damage did."

His hand teasingly slides back and he pinches my ass, making a blush run across my cheeks. "Don't even get me started on your ass, angel. You might just want to trust me on this one when I say it's the sexiest one I've ever been with."

He slides his hand up my chest and pinches my pink nipple softly, making me squeak in surprise before trying to push his hand away with a hint of a giggle at his laugh. "I love messing with your nipples, it makes you giggle for some reason. When you're happy, I'm happy."

He buries his nose in my hair, breathing in my scent with a smile. "Your hair is so unique. Never before have I seen somebody's hair spike up in all different directions like yours does. And your bangs, I just love playing with them." He sweeps up my bangs out of my eyes and tucks them behind my ear before poking my nose. I crack a smile at this, and I swat away his hand with a laugh.

But he just slides the same hand down into my polka pajama pants, making me gasp with a blush. With a serious look, he stares right into my eyes through the mirror as he strokes my thigh, his thumb brushing over an old scar. "Your legs take you everywhere you make them, and hold one of the worst memories of all. This thigh, is my favorite part of you. Even if it holds to worst memory, it holds a reason for me to heal you just one more time."

I blink back a set of tears and I look over at Axel. "How much did you see earlier? I thought you were cooking dinner?" He cups my cheek while frowning.

"Everything, Roxas. You don't have to change in anyway to make yourself 'good enough' for me. I love you the way you are, not who you could be." I grip his wrist while looking up at him with a small smile.

"Scars and all?"

Axel laughs, grabbing my arm and turning it up so that my faded scars show. He presses a kiss to every single one of them before dropping to one knee. He tugs down my pajama pants, letting them drop to the floor while smiling up at me.

He presses a kiss to the long, jagged, ugly scar running across my thigh with his lips curled in a smile while tears of happiness spring to my eyes. He reaches in his back pocket and fishes out a small black velvet box, taking a deep breath before looking up at me with a nervous smile. He opens the box to reveal a sparkling diamond ring.

"Scars and all."

I launch myself at Axel, knocking him backwards while laughing with joy. He recovers from the sudden attack as I slip the ring on my finger, squealing excitedly. "Thank you, for healing me Axel. But now," I cup his face in my hands while resting my forehead on his.

"It's _my_ turn, to heal _you_."


End file.
